Hello?
Yes may I speak to (k o w)?
Speaking
Yes sir I'm calling in regards to a contest you've won...
No thanks.
Sir you did attend the Oktoberfest at (local German club) did you not?
Yes, Yes I did.
Well sir your name was selected and you've won a prize.
Your kidding me right?
Oh no sir, do you remember the wheel of meat?
Yeah that was awesome, I won knockwurst.
Well you've won the grand prize from Schultz Meats.
Your kidding me, awesome.
Yes sir you've won an assortment of the finest prepared meats we offer.
Wow.
Knockwurst, Bratwurst, German Bologna and some more.
What do I need to do?
Just provide me with an address and it will be shipped today.
(Address provided)
Okay sir enjoy your meat.
I will try.
So now my house is going to smell like a Bavarian butcher shop for the next week. And I couldn't be happier.
Fantastic!!! I went to Frankfurt recently, and can certainly confirm that the Germans like their meat.
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff!
ReplyDelete"Enjoy your meat"--shoulda said "I always do".
ReplyDeleteI love Oktoberfests. Those crazy ass Germans know how to live dont they? Meat, potatoes, beer? Does it get better than that???
Happy eats!
I like meat, I'm good at eating it, can I have some?
ReplyDeletenow you need to invite the "hot chicks" over for the "how far can you get this kielbasa down your throat" contest!!!
ReplyDeleteso when am i geting my invite to the BBQ!!!!
ReplyDeleteMmmmmmmmmmmm. Free pork.
ReplyDeleteThat came out wrong, didn't it?
Dinner party at Kow's house?
ReplyDeleteCliff! I thought you disappeared!
ReplyDeleteOh God, that just made me wet.
ReplyDeletePictures of hot meat get you wet?
ReplyDeleteshe might be referring to the kielbasa throat contest..
ReplyDeletekow, when is dinner?
ReplyDeleteThat was incredible. Meat delivery at it's finest. LOL
ReplyDeleteNice. Maybe I should stop screening my calls--who knows what free stuff could be out there with my name on it.
ReplyDelete"You've Won, Meat"
ReplyDeleteSo what did I win?
It's a scratch and win prize. See that meat? Scratch your screen to smell it's goodness.
ReplyDelete*fuggo and it's author are not responsible for any damaged monitors, screens, or any other display device your viewing this from.
Ha! You just fell for the oldest con in the world! They claim you've won a prize, they get you to give them your address, then they come over and deliver a freezer full of MEAT!
ReplyDeleteHa-ha-ha-har-har!
Sucker!
Oh... wait a minute...
LOL you must look like a man who needs some meat. Funny, I've heard that line said to an ex of mine. My roommate looked at my boyfriend (who was a larger guy but did not really care for red meat) and said "Now theres a guy who needs some meat. Go get yourself some steaks out of the freezer"....looking back maybe he "won" the same prize that you did ;-) Hope you didn't have to eat all your meat by yourself ;-) Although, that in itself could qualify you for the Guiness Book of World Records
ReplyDeleteOMG, dude, you're in for a coronary, that much meat cannot be good for your cardiovascular system, but you better have a hell of a bbq before it gets cold. oh, and that's just fucking awesome!!!
ReplyDeletelate
eeeeeeeeeeeeew
ReplyDeletethere's a burger place in vancouver called "Vera's Burger Shack," and the slogan is "you can't beat Vera's meat"
ReplyDeletethere was (is) a place in New Orleans that has the same slogan "You can't beat Wagner's meat!" so funny, you can also pay your phone and electricity bills there.
ReplyDeleteThe last time I saw that many sausages in a row, I was at a Chippendales Male Review.
ReplyDelete