Porn

It sure does make life that much better doesn't it?

Shit now I have to wipe off the keyboard here.




Just kidding.

3 Years...

It's been 3 years since I started up this thing after being inspired by a dog named Moufa.

In that time the following may or may not have happened,

I drove a left-handed Porsche 911.

Had dinner with a U.S. Congressman from New Mexico.

Flew to Dublin, Ireland got off the plane and then promptly turned around and hopped another flight to Frankfurt, Germany.

Got a pedicure.

Threw a no-hitter in softball.

Ate 132lbs. of pasta.

Farted in an elevator and then smiled at everyone.

Quit my well paying job to go back and finish school.

Looked at boobies on the internet.

Had a waffle sandwich at a diner in Illinois at 4 a.m. with a Hell's Angel.

Beat back an invasion of Amazonian women hell bent on recovering a stolen spoon.

Lambasted, yes lambasted, someone for not doing enough lambasting.

Eaten a gyro with lamb meat for the first time.

Filmed a cooking show pilot in NYC for a show called Gamerbelly with me as the host.

Set a world record in paintball. (this ones true)

Let my hair grow long again to achieve that "Thor" look.

Traded drunken text messages with a fellow lush down south.

Done the safety dance.

Bought a new Wok.

And have only used it twice.

Was crowned "Karaoke King" at Killinger's.

Had a streak of 5 weeks Quizzo champion broken by a team of 13 people. I played by myself.

Had my left nut checked out to see if I had testicular cancer.

Read a whole lot about Lance Armstrong.

Turned into a 12 ft tall fuzzy orange simian.

and finally

I grew corn indoors all year round.

*thanks to Phain for pointing it out that I had missed my sites birthday.

Bad Pete!