Sunday, January 27, 2008


I'm off to that island in the Pacific where people surf, eat poi and duck lava. I'm not participating in any of those activities, I'm going swimming with sharks. Then I plan on avoiding pick pockets in the touristy areas while shopping for some lame as gifts to bring home to people.

I'll bring you something if you post a comment in the form of a haiku.

She's Hooked

On Christmas day I did something bad. I gave my lady Mario Party for her Nintendo DS system. My motive was to simply give her a game to play when on lunch break or on a rainy day. What instead has occurred is nothing short of amazing.

She is the top player in the world.

No one anywhere that I can find has come remotely close to what she has achieved on this game. She owns all of the records. In fact she just sent me a picture of her latest high score. The problem is she must have messed up the scanner and now there is no proof that she just set the all time high in stars collected in game. If you look at the blown up picture you can faintly see she scored 48 stars in one game. I never score more than 5.

Sorry babe you may have elite Mario Party skills but your scanning abilities leave much to improve on.

Monday, January 14, 2008

I learned something today...

Only the person leading in a game of Scrabble cares about what the score is at any point during play. Everyone else couldn't care less.

The word "welcome" is worth 80 points on Scrabble if you place it properly as the first word on the board.

"Qi" is a great way to get rid of that pesky Q tile.

oh yeah...

and you and a coworker can sneak in about 4 games of Scrabble during the work day without anyone knowing about it.

Friday, January 11, 2008

I haven't laughed this hard since...

If you didn't already know I really dislike Elmo, the muppet that singlehandedly destroyed Sesame Street. Well take this fucker!

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Plasma on Cotton

I led my peewee hockey league in penalty minutes when I was 11 years old.

I still have my blood stained jersey from that season.

I just framed that jersey and hung it in my hallway.

It's odd some of the things I find myself holding onto. This one in particular though makes me wonder why I have held onto it so dearly. I look at it sometimes and wonder if that was the point in my life where I stopped getting picked on and started sticking up for myself. I started not letting those around me to get under my skin and started fighting back, almost to the point where I approached bullydom on my own. I remember playing the games and having parents cheer me on as I bashed other kids into the boards with reckless abandon. That year I was selected third overall in the draft for the league and I felt I had to raise my game to a new level so instead of focusing on playing hockey I instead ended up being a tenacious little punk on the ice.

If I had a kid like me back then on my team now I would have kicked him off a long time ago. But here I am looking at this jersey on the wall and I shake my head why I feel that that is the one jersey that I need to preserve.
I had the really whacked out dream last night...

I was standing in a house where people all around me were in a line. To get away from them I decided to walk upstairs. When I got up there I looked and saw a large woman making what seemed like muffins at an oven. Now I remember saying to myself in the dream that I was staring at a ghost. I looked at her and she looked back and with that I left. I then went back downstairs and realized I was in a funeral home. I started to speak to a gentlemen who stated back to me that it was common for the deceased to reside on the second floor of a building where they lied in state. It allowed them to attend their own funeral but the rule was they had to stay on the second floor.

Weird right?