Beer

Kersplash!

My phone fell in the toilet.

I may or may not need your phone numbers again.

I'd say this is a shitty predicament but since there was nothing in the bowl with the Nokia I'm clear.

Surprisingly...

Your puke is green after you down alot of green beer. But your piss still remains as golden as the treasure at the end of the rainbow.

justanotherdayinthefkd three four

It was a long dark day in the east side of Pratt. Kids crowded into the local check cashing center throwing quarter after quarter into the newest version of Street Fighter while the older generation of kids, them being over 60, stood inline cashing their monthly check. They would then move from that line and into the lottery ticket line where the girl with ratty blonde hair manned the machine. The smell of fresh donuts hung in the air along with the smell of hair dye and cigarette smoke. No breeze was blowing but even if there had been one the blood from the shooting outside would never had made it inside the check cash. Some poor soul was gunned down out front, probably drug related. Takes the police 5 minutes to show up. By that time all of the know it alls of the avenue had gathered preaching to the others there that they had seen everything. Meanwhile a man laid on the ground bleeding to death. One of the boys inside the check cash forgot aout his Street Fighter game and ran outside to man. He recognized the man on the ground. He was one of the reasons his once proud neighborhood was now a haven for drugs of all kinds. He and his actions were the reason that fire happened on Buffield St killing those kids. The boy thought about all of the terror the man now lying in front of him had wrought on his streets."He deserved this." The ambulance pulls up and paramedics pour out. After 5 minutes the man is loaded up on a stretcher. The boy doesn't think about that day for another 15 years.

Schtuff

Flintstone vitamins taste like candy. Eat to many though an you'll shit a hand grenade.

Ever try typing with a thumb splint on? It's like well like this!

I made pho for the first time the other day and I'll be damned, I didn't fuck it up.

Your probably wondering what pho is, google bitches.

Someone murdered my Ionic Breeze. Wheres Orbach when you need him?

No I don't want to go to the mall. Theres better things for me to do than stand out front of a shoe store on a Saturday afternoon. You know the spot, where all the guys stand looking over the railing at the women walking by down below. Maybe just once in awhile we get some decent cleavage. Maybe.

Duke didn't fuck up my pool this year, go VCU.

The 2001: A Space Odyssey soundtrack is fucking spooky. Want it? Send me an email.

Bourbon.

Blast from the Past

I happened upon this vid by complete accident yesterday on youtube. Boy did the memories come rushing back of me sitting in front of the tv watching Sesame Street. Youtube "Classic Sesame Street" and be taken back.

Funniest Show Today

Split from China Blue

A real good friend came up to me about 6 months ago while watching me coach a peewee hockey game. She looked at me and said point blank "It'd be a shame if you don't end up someones father, you'd be so great at it." I was taken back, flabbergasted, humbled a little, and flattered. I'll be honest... since that day I have kind of taken what she said to heart. Maybe I would make a good dad afterall? Or maybe I'll stay the course and be the cool uncle like I plan.

Remember Space Invaders?

Truth

So I'm sitting there trying to study when one of the members of my team starts crying histerically. She can't take it any longer. The secrets have become too great for her to keep hidden any longer. For too long she has met with him in parking lots hopping into his ride and then fooling around with him knowing full well that he would be going back to his first love and not to her. Her, she the woman he has been seeing on the side since last summer. Her the young woman he had said he really loved all this time. She loves him so dear she goes on to say and goes so far to tell myself and the other two there about thier plan for the future.

After she gets done I respond simply "Thats what you get for fucking the Burger King."


Ladies, don't get involved with a guy who sticks his meat into the mouths of millions each day.