The beginning of this weeks madness.

Fly Eagles fly, on the road to victory...
Fight, Eagles Fight...Score a touchdown 1,2,3...
Hit em' low,
hit em' high,
and watch our Eagles Fly...
Fly, Eagles fly, on the road to victory!

E A G L E S - Eagles!

Deadwood & Nip/Tuck

Following Ian McShane's win last night for best actor in a drama series I've been placed firmly back on my Deadwood kick. The show fucking rocks. If you have HBO and have caught it the you know what I mean. Wonderful show that shouldn't be missed.

Nip/Tuck is one of only four reasons I turn on my television on anymore. It won the Golden Globe for best Drama series and frankly I kinda wish thay hadn't. It's no longer my lil favorite secret show that no one watched but me.

Hesitating Tranny Costs Owner More Money

Philadelphia, PA:
The owner of a 2000 Dodge Dakota pickup truck has recieved the news that his truck is going to cost him even more money. This stemming from a local bout with the truck where the vehicle would frequently second guess itself when shifting. Coming on the heels of the holiday season the trucks owner had this to say, "Well it could worse, it could be raining." With that statement the heavens poured down upon him leaving him soaked and penniless as he awaited the arrival of the local bus.

Buy Foreign.

New Resolutions Old

I'm having a difficult time this year coming up with a decent resolution for the new year.
In years past I've given up soda, McDonalds, hiking in the Artic, and tsunami surfing but this year I want to go for something new.

So I present to you this years contestants for Resolution of the year 2005:

To stop performing magic in front of Catholic churches.
To enter a Fencing academy and work my to that elusive Olympic medal.
Quit skipping steps when running stairs, let's hit each one and feel it.
Learn how to roast a pig. A whole pig.
Learn to make ice cream.
And finally...
Learn to maintain an automatic transmission properly.


BTW...
The bar is currently serving Troegs Mad Elf Ale by the fistful. Lovely stuff.

While waiting for WoW...

So I'm sitting here waiting for this patch from hell to finally DL. It got me thinking about things in the world so tonight I share.

1.) It wasn't the butler who did it but the taxman!
2.) You humans have a long way to go.
3.) Suzuki makes a pretty decent automobile but will never be seen as more than a great bike company here in the States thanks to the country's auto press. Fuckers
4.) Spinning on your head does not make your PC go faster.
5.) Neither does throwing your shoe at it.
6.) The # 7 sucks
7.) Fuck you 6
8.) Your both pathetic.
9.) Thats an awful lot of paper in the stockroom at work but not enough trees on the campus.
10.) I'm probably writing this to a handful of people. Tell your friends.
11.) Made Taco Pizza tonight. Spicy? Yes, Making it again? Nope.
12.) Duran Duran's greatest hits album rocks.
13.) So does Bloodhound Gang's "One Fierce Beercoaster"
14.) Is a great number to play hockey in.
15.) Tits and ass are great but they won't be around forever. Brains and a soul will.
16.) Usually by this point my hands start cramping from typing.
17.) And people have long since reading this dribble.
18.) Free hot sex porn
19.) Readership quintuples instantly.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Catspit goes dark so we go light

catspit.net has an exciting new look so I decided to change templates myself. Mine didn't require much more than a couple of mouse clicks so I like the ease of it.

Some past posts are rather unreadable now, tough shit. If you wanna read them then copy and paste them into Word and change the color font yourself. We're going to stick with white because I love my eyes and I'd like to keep em for the long run.

Christmas shopping on QVC rocks. I can shop from home and pay $3 for shipping without going out my front (back) door. I can even do it in my underwear which especially grand when the hostess on the show looks good.

Today's beer: Perkuno's Hammer by Heavyweight Brewing. An Imperial Porter that will keep you warm throughout the winter.

By the way I need someone to talk me out of buying a Honda Element. It's functional and if you know me then you know that I love functionality.

British Women Rock!

Allow me to make a list of some recent women that have been cavorting around in my thoughts.

They are all from the UK. A place I'm about to move to simply because of these fine examples of genetics.

Google them:
Jennifer Ellison (seriously she's so hot it can't be right)
Emma Bunton (when did she get hot?>)
and I know I know ...
Charlotte Church
Yes she has grown up into quite the young lady. The girl with the voice of an angel (yeah I watch PBS!) has simply blossomed. It's amazing what money can do to someone who was once subpar in my book.
&
the female cast members of Coupling.

Kegger and Brewtiful

A boy and his bear. The story of Kegger and Brewtiful takes place in the wonderful World of Warcraft now available for the PC and Mac.

The 2 rabblerousers can currently be found running around the frost laden slopes of Dun Morough delivering beer, cooking freshly killed boar meat, or fending of the occasional Leper Gnome.

Join their adventure as the quest for level 60 is on!

Discipline, Distraction, and a New Direction.

The weight has fluctuated wildly over the past 2 months. The end of September I sat at 180 nicely. Feeling good I worked out as if I had vinegar coursing through my veins. It was great.

Now I don't. Maybe it is school, maybe it's Halo 2, maybe it was because of my recent "I just don't give a fuck" attitude that put me there. But this shit has to change. I recently read an entry over at catspit.net on spinning. I think this is what I need. Weights and lifting are all well and nice but cardio is whats going to keep me going for the long run. I watch Jack Lalaine and I'm in awe of what he's been able to accomplish in his 93 years with his body. The guy is amazing. While he doesn't talk about spinning I think he'd say it's a good thing.

I need to get off my ass. I'm still running the stairs granted but I need more. I need something thats going to beat me into wanting more. I need something where I can look over at somebody and just know they're giving it all they got too. Something to put all the distraction in the world off to the side and focus on the workout.

Spinning... I'm thinking about it.
Is it too late to ask for a bike for Christmas?

Things that don't work.

The following list doesn't work either but your going to read it anyway.

"Lemon Scented" anything
My attempts at winning against females and their kin in Halo 2.
Senko Worms
Paris Hilton
that lazy fuck down the street out on work comp, fucker!
Sweet Potatoe Pie
Daewoo cars
Volkswagon
the urge not to masturbate
Male Lions
Vioxx
The Simpsons (yes I said it)
Sitting around

PLease feel free to add to the list anything you feel may not work.

Early Christmas Want List

I want friends overseas to come back healthy.

I want the friends that have already made it back not to go back over.

I want a car that can run on water therefore having no reason for us to have friends overseas right now.

List to be continued...

Beef, it's good for your fart

Ever eat a burger that tasted really good. Sure we all have. How about eating a burger that tasted really good and a half hour later you fart. doesn't smell like roses now does it. Thats beef your farting there. I don't know about you but I've never met a cow that smelled like roses. This entry is brought to you by the Corporation for Public Beef Flatulation Awareness. We strive to make everyday a beef flatulance free day. Choose your beef wisely.

Slonp!

I've decided to come up with a new word. Slonp just popped in my head while I was drinking some tea in the breakroom here. They were talking about shorehouses and what types and colors of paint they should use to make their homes more attractive. One of them actually stated she was going to paint her house pink. "I like that idea, me too!" stated the other one. Now the first one was clearly perturbed by this development and retorted "maybe I'll paint the window frames in purple" hoping that the other one gasp in horror and disagree. Well she didn't. They both dug the ideas of pink shore homes with purple window frames.


Thank goodness this tea is so damn good. Otherwise I might have thrown it at the 2 harpies.

Woo Fwuckhead

I just want to leave a big "FUCK YOU" to the guy who nearly smashed into my truck last night.
I bit my tongue while swerving to miss you cocksucker. So now when I talk I sound like a smacked ass in the morning.

Here's an example:

Me: "Wood Mornwing Boff"
Boss: " What's the matter?"
Me: I bwit mwy tongue last night"
Boss: "Ouch"

Meanwhile theres just 3 days to Halo2 and one week to my qualifier for the WSOP.

I'm 5 and it's X-Mas Time

Halo 2 is a little over a week away and frankly I can't wait.

I haven't been this excited over something to play with since I was a kid at Christmas time.
I can remember the hours looking at the Sears Wish Book and seeing the Sega Genesis with it's vaunted 16 bit graphics and thinking I would sell my left nut to own one. I would read that page over and over again knowing that it would soon be there under my tree on December 25th.

This is the feeling I have now for Halo 2.
I can't describe it other than pure joyous anticipation. I actually be able to get a game in with some old chums I've missed along the way. People are calling out of work staying home just to play this one title online. I can't wait to order a pizza for lunch while playing Slayer for the 6th straight hour with friends.

Please hurry Santa. Petey has been good this year and my grades are really good. Santa I have to plug 50 rounds into someone online...quick Santa... hurry up.

Foul Mouthed

I was recently told in an email that my blog here is way to foul mouthed and that I should tone it down some.

Post a comment if your in agreement.

The Patriotist

Click above

An interesting read and one that I wanted to post before the election.

Flat Tire & the funky looking Carrot

Well I was running smooth down the bike path on Sunday when suddenly a tree root decided to jump in the path of me. Pop! went the tire and my glee ridden ride abruptly came to an end. See I ride aggresive. I don't ride a 24" 75 F'ing gear Mountain bike. Screw that. Where's the workout I ask you!
(I ride a bike sane people my age have long given up on, a Haro Tr 2.2. Go ahead and google it I'll wait.... oh yeah I have it in "clay" or whatever they call the tan color. It's bad ass.)

Anyway by now your saying why don't you grow up and act your age and quit flying through the air on a bike. You have a good arguement as does my girlfriend on the subject. But my thinking is that while you can do something you should do it. Far too many people my age are getting lazy. They come home from work and plop down in front of their TV with a Hungry Man Dinner and no drive to be active other than to push a button on the remote. LAZY!

Thats not my bag, not now nor ever will be. Far too many Americans these days are becoming diabetic not because of genes or the natural onset of the disease. No they're acquiring this by their lifestyles and diets. Wake up America. You can avoid this. Eat some real foods. Buy a Wok and some peanut oil and go to town on a nightly basis. It's easy. Why are Americans so frigging dependent.

Anyway there I was in the middle of the woods with a flat and no spare tube. I took Mitzy (yeah that's my bikes name, sure beats Cucumber Bob which I wanted to call her but couldn't bring myself to do) and hightailed it for the closest boulder I could find to have a snack. Out I pulled my trusty carrots full of vitamins and tasty goodness that everyone should eat them every day. This one carrot was bent. Almost at a 70 degree angle. I said outloud "Thats a funky looking carrot!" and proceeded to gobble it down. I picked up Mitzy and started walking back up the trail. Passing along the way 2 people both weighing over 200 pounds easily walking along with their 24" Mountain Bikes while catching a cigarette. Welcome to the New American Workout.

Dans la lune

Je suis fatigué. Presque passant dehors. Ainsi j'ai choisi de dactylographier ce message en français. Ils font le bon pain.

Linking to this site

To all of you who are linking to me now I want to say A.) Thank you, and B.) As soon as I figure out how to do it I'll link to you all as well.

Henry Kabozolich III