1.)You can simply take the puck and clear it out of the zone forcing the opposing player to leave.
2.)You can fall down in front of the referee and have the opposing player called for a penalty forcing him to leave the playing surface for 2 minutes.
3.) You can scream really loudly in his ear until he can't take it anymore and just leaves your area. Ok we haven't actually used that one but we've seen little girls do it at a basketball game with great success.
4.) You can hit the guy repeatedly until you break one of his bones, knock him out, he starts to cry, or you get put into the penalty box for roughing.
5.) And finally you can grab the guy's ass or cock through his pants.
Now hear us out. That's not being gay, that's playing a smart game of defensive hockey. What guy is going to want to stand in front of you in a game with you repeatedly grabbing his ass? None that we know. What kind of player is going to enjoy the reach around your giving him in front of the net? Nobody.
By employing this strategy of grabbing another player's genitalia you are beating him mentally. He will think twice before going into the boards with you for the puck. If he's a homophobe he might even try to fight you at which point you just back off and let the referee put him in the penalty box for 5 minutes while you go ahead and score goal after goal on his team.
17 comments:
so what if you do find a guy that likes it? Is HE gay?
Maybe he just would like a different kind of physical game? I'll be honest most of the time the guy freaks out like a sissy. Then I go and score a goal while laughing at him.
ROFL at NWC!! Do you find you instinctively do it if, say, you're in the middle of a heated discussion in the office? I wonder what would happen if I grabbed Dick by the balls one day?
I actually picked up this idea from another player ahile ago. MOst of the guys who play hockey try and act as macho as they can on the ice. When you grab their balls in the middle of a play they become instant sissys and will shy away from you the rest of the game.
It might be gay if you go to grab the guy's ass during the national anthem before the game even starts.
And he's on your own team...
LMAO @ TJ !
I think it's ok if ya grab his crotch if you're in front of him but if you're giving him a friendly reach around I think that might be where the line is drawn.
Well your right TJ that might be a little bit. But I'm only suggesting players try these tactics when on the ice in the game.
I'm having the same thoughts as emerald-eyes right now...:-)
Any men around willing to let me try out my new moves?
Boy, you girls beat me to it. I am thinking about joining a hockey team. k o w, what are your opposing teams? :)
Might I add how amazing it is that so few men wear cups when playing sports.
You've got to protect the nuts!
If he's gay...I call that asking him out on a date?! Men grab their own crotches...I can't imagine that being distracting? *shrugs shoulders* Unless you're winking at them while doing it? Maybe you should try winking and smiling or licking your lips? OOOO..some play growling or biting your lip? Those might be "MORE" gay.
Haha...they might start calling you "faggo fuggo" in the league then?
Dude.. I was a defenseman in my league and I found that the most effective method for clearing the net was to proposition favors to the opposing fowards... worked like a charm
u never know, u could get a hot date out of the deal
LOL....oh mi god you are my hero! I love hockey and that was the funniest thing I have read in a while. I need to move out of california and find a hockey player to date :-)
i'm so turned on right now...
I totally want to see an ice-hockey game live.
Its not a big sport here in Oz and I'd dearly like to see a busy, competitive game.
If and when I do, i'll be keeping an eye out for this tactic!
Thanks!
word verif: erppp !!
Post a Comment