Once upon a time in a village outside of a grand imperial city there lived a wizard who was allergic to mayonaisse. He would stay up to all hours of the night conjuring a cure for this ailment as he loved to eat turkey hoagies and potatoe salad. One night as he stood at his cauldron brewing his next attempt at a cure a knock came at the door. "Hello Jaufree" said the wizard as he opened the door. "What's up Ladlow, listen theres this killer party going on in the guard's quarters of the imperial jail, care to tag along?" The wizard thought to himself that he hadn't been to a good party in awhile. In fact the last one he was at had killer turkey hoagies so he agreed to go.

The two of them could hear the beat of the drums coming from the party all the way out in the countryside. "Bro, this party is going to be great, food, grog, and wenches! Who can ask for anything more?" Ladlow the wizard replied "How about a cure for my mayonaisse allergy?" "Your allergic to mayonaisse?" asked Jaufree. "Hell yeah, been that way since the last party where Brunhilda was mixing that potion with the chickenroot in it." Jaufree remembered that party well. Brunhilda knew how to party. She would set up a cauldron in the middle of the room and make people throw whatever they wanted in to it before pouring it out into shot goblets for everyone. Maybe Ladlow the Wizard's allergy was a direct result from the last party. "Oh well, not my problem" he thought as he and the wizard entered the door to the guards quarters.

"5 gold mate or your not getting in" announced the guard inside. Both men paid the amount, grabbed their plastic goblet and went about eyeing up the wenches and the assorted kettles and cauldrons spun about the room. Brunhilda caught Ladlow's eye so he pulled on the nip of his magic gown and proceeded to strut over to her in what he liked to call "magic pimp style." Brunhilda was knocking back a shot of something bubbly and green when the wizard said "Do you think I can try some of that stuff?" "Sure sugar, here you go." and with that she poured him a serving. Ladlow knocked it back without thinking. "Now that's some stuff right there!" Already he could feel it's affect. Visions of turkey hoagies and potatoe salad danced in his head. "What is this stuff?" he asked feeling all of a sudden much hungrier. "Thats my super allergy remedy potion, it cures all of your allergies instantly." Ladlow was excited. Finally a chance to eat turkey hoagies and potatoe salad once again. He hugged Brunhilda and tapped her on the bottom as he went over the wawa table in the corner. The archmage Wawa had stopped practicing the dark arts about a year ago to pursue his life long dream of owning a deli. Ladlow picked up a turkey hoagie and smothered it in potatoe salad. "This is awesome!" he yelled out loud and everyone cheered. After finishing the sandwich Ladlow strutted back up to Brunhilda and invited her back to his place after the party.

The End


Author's Note: I have no idea how in the hell I just wrote this thing. It just came out as I was writing it. Anyway, no Fuggo updates until May 5th at the earliest. I leave for Brazil and the Amazon tonight. Cheers.