6/6/06

This date reminds me of the time I played ice hockey against Satan and his team. He showed up one night in the pub drunk with power and holy water and started talking a whole hill of shit about how he could do anything he wanted. Tired of listening to him I challenged him to get a team of hellions together and play me and my buddies in ice hockey. He agreed and left to go get his team.

Two hours later me and my team were on the ice warming up when Satan and his gang walked in. "Your toast (k o w)!" he said to me and I just laughed it off. They laced up their skates and began to learn how to ice skate as we watched while laughing our asses off. "Having a problem?" I said to Satan as he held the wall while trying to get his feet under himself. "We'll still beat you and your buddies in ice hockey and then claim your souls for all of eternity!" he quipped back. "What do we get if we beat you Satan?" I asked. "" I will grant you all one wish each". It was agreed and the game was on.

From the start we just bashed the living shit out of him and his team. They couldn't skate worth a lick as there is no ice in Hell for them to practice on. By the end of the first period we had outscored them 5-0. Satan came gliding over to me and said "Listen maybe we can re-work this deal." I said no way and we continued on into the second. A fight broke out when my buddy crosschecked a hellion in the tail. The hellion couldn't swing a punch while standing in skates so our guy just punished him/it with crushing right hands. At the end of period 2 the score was now 8-0.

Satan again comes up to me to discuss the deal but I ignored him. At the faceoff to begin the third period he was punched in the face by my teammate which just started a bench clearing brawl between the teams. Horns, fists, hooves and skates all clashed in a battle on the ice. Me and my fellow mortals held our own before the fight was broken up by the refs. This was no longer a just for fun game with a little side bet. We skated harder than ever lighting up thier goalie with a flurry of shots. At the end of the game the final score was 15-0 in favor of us mortals. We had beaten Satan and his gang in ice hockey therefore getting us one wish.

What was that wish? Well we all wished to own a Taco Bell and have Satan and his staff work as it's night crew. So now when you visit the Taco Bell on Main St. and the guy frying your burrito has a tail you know why. That's Satan and he makes a mean gordito too.