Weather Bunnies

Seems every channel on my television dial now features some hot, young weather girl telling me it's going to be wet tommorow and that I'm going to need my rubbers out there. Well no shit. I'm probably going to need my rubbers sooner before later if she bends over anymore in her blouse with the plunging neckline. I don't think they require degrees to read the weather anymore. Gone are the old guys who knew what the hell they were talking about. Now all you need is a fresh face, boobs, and a skimpy yet professional looking skirt that comes down just over your ass cheeks. I haven't had such an interest in the weather report before.

It's come to the attention of my bladder that a large banana and strawberry smoothie isn't a great idea before walking into a 2 hour lecture on the digestive system. I was dancing up a storm in that lecture hall aisle and didn't move as not to disrupt the rest of the class, all 250 of them.

Paul Shaffer from the David Letterman show looks weirder each time I watch the show. I don't watch that much but here I am now thinking "He looks like an ugly piano playing troll."

Yeah so I took a golf class here in my return to full time status. I need a breather between the 6 other classes I have and where else can I go and smash something for an hour 3 days a week in the middle of the day?

I need new underwear. There's a cold front coming in or something and "Bunny" just nearly popped out of her shirt while reaching for a cloud.

Oh HBO is playing reruns of that show "Cathouse" which follows the goings on in a brothel in Reno, NV. All these girls are saying they're the smart ones because they get paid to do something they love. Well I guess if fucking fat, hairy slobs with receding hairlines is your kind of kink then it is the ideal job for you.

I'd be a whore if I could.

NO way! CBS slimmed down Katie Couric in promo pics? This just in America, there isn't a photo put out by a media outlet today that has been touched up. She's not a weather bunny so I guess it needed to be done.

Strange New World

Log Date, 8/29/06: I touched down 2 days ago into this new land and it's been rather difficult as of late to get my bearings. On Monday I parachuted into this terrain that looked familiar to me from high up but is now very foreign. The sights and smells are different. The locals all seem to be close to ten years my younger while the elders that stand at the front of each assembly seem to be more of a peer of mine. The local females display much more skin than one was used to seeing when I would fly over the area before. And the males seems uneducated and more burned out than what I had hypothesized.

The locals all walk along now plugged into small units with white wires running into the ears as if listening to something. I'd have at the wires with my machete but I fear it wouldn't do much good as there are so many of them wired up in this fashion now that I wouldn't be able to escape the horde that would fall upon me.

I have been eating alot of the local fruits. They are easily accessible thanks to merchants who set up their wares on each corner I round. It is good and thus far I have been able to manage without any ill effects.

My chopper out of here won't be back for awhile. I either have to try and fit in with this new society or I'll be trampled.

Fuck Humidity

Chime in if you agree. If you don't then you must be in Arizona.

I haven't been around because...

13 Minutes of Pryor

Precipice

Looking out here from the edge I can see nothing but good things.
It's only when I look down that I feel a little less secure than I was just moments before.
Today is the last day of the last four and a half years.
The peers are all in agreement.
Now is the time and place.
And I am in complete agreement.

Lesson Learned

When you post 5 minutes of completely open access to your website people will log in and post pictures of an ass.

Tis' a lovely thing.

My A$$

Love, Brandon

I am a Pee Pee Head

And I love the cock :)

HNT- LaCock!

Yes!
Wanna see a bunch of people get half naked today? Sure you do, your heart still beats correct? Head on over to Osbasso's site to check it all out.

And remember to keep on LaRockin'!

Offal

Today we're serving Scrapple. What you've never heard of the stuff? Scrapple maybe the greatest breakfast food you've never had. Now before I get into telling you what scrapple actually is I should tell you to look past the ingredient list and just try some. It's a pork product that comes from... ahh fuck it here's what's on the Wiki for it...

Scrapple is typically made of hog offal, such as the head, eyes, heart, liver, bladder, and other scraps, which are boiled with any bones attached (often the entire head), to make a broth. Once cooked, bones and fat are discarded, the meat is reserved, and (dry) cornmeal is boiled in the broth to make a mush. The meat, finely minced, is returned, and seasonings, typically sage, thyme, savory, and others, are added. The mush is cast into loaves, and allowed to cool thoroughly until gelled.

Now I know your basically saying "Fuck you k o w if you think I'm going to eat that shit." and I'd be in agreement with ya if I had never been exposed to it before. Yes basically it's everything not used on the pig chopped up, boiled, and then mixed with cornmeal and gelled together into a small gray brick. Not appetizing for sure but the flavor of the stuff is second to none.

I prepare mine much in the way everyone else does. I slice the loaf into quarter inch patties and fry it up. Put it on the plate with some scrambled eggs and top the whole lot with ketchup.

Hi, I'm a Dork with a Penis

Enlightenment

It was a cool summer evening in August with little to no humidity weighing down the breeze. The smell of lavender wafted along mixing with the fragrances coming off of the bakery down the road. As I laid in the grass of the backyard looking up at the night sky viewing the first meteor shower these eyes had ever seen I began to feel a peace. Real, true tranquility. It was surreal lying there staring up at the stars for what felt like the first real true time it had happened. Suddenly I was 10 again learning something for the first time. The synapses were going off in my mind as I tracked the movement of bright orbs in the night sky.

Then a possum sniffed at my toe. I freaked. It hissed. And we both ran the opposite way from one another screaming like schoolgirls.

I've Been Nano'd

I now own an ipod. Yes I bought an Apple product. It's fucking sexy. This is going to be a short post as I'm trying to put files on this thing. One song at time isn't cutting it. Any ipod vets out there wanna help out your buddy here?

EDIT:
Hey if you do a podcast, listen to a podcast, use a podcast as bait, fry podcasts on the stove, fold podcasts as soon as they come out of the dryer, drive podcasts to ballet, or covet your neighbors podcast leave a comment here pointing me to it.

HNT

That's my foot and hers. Yes some people on the internet meet in real life and take photos of their feet.

Cars

k o w :So how was the beef and beer last Friday.
T: Fun, sorry you missed it.
Get into any trouble?
Don't I always? "A" brought a friend who brought a friend.
Ready made blind date, can't beat that.
Yeah see I didn't get home until 6 am.
You didn't fuck him did you?
Yeah I did, I think it was because he drove a brand new Corvette.
So you fucked him because he drove a Vette'?
I think so, is that bad?
Nah, cars are an essential part of pulling ass. That night it did it's job.

Tagged!

I got tagged by one of my favorite internet people lechatquiapeur. You may know her as the only person to ever write for this here site besides me. That's because she kicks ass so without further ado here goes...
Four things about me you may not have known:
A) Four jobs I have had in my life: HVAC Installer, Professional Wrestler, Cherry Picker, and Investigator
B) Four movies I could watch over and over: Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles, Braveheart, Pulp Fiction
C) Four places I have lived:Philadelphia, Frankford, Rambler Park, and Wildwood, NJ
D) Four TV shows I love to watch: This Old House, nip/tuck, CBS Sunday Morning, and Deadwood
E) Four places I've been on vacation: Las Vegas, Grand Canyon, Disney World, Brazil!
F) Four of my favorite websites: Comcast (email), BBC, CBS Sportsline, and Gorillamask.
G) Four of my favorite foods: Banana, Beer, Spaghetti and Sausage, Anything cooked over an open flame on a grill with charcoal.
H) Four friends I will tag: I can't pick just four so I'm tagging everyone right on the ass who stops by here regularly.
Right now I would rather be: Traveling the globe seeking adventure.

Schwing!

I do miss the old Buck Rogers TV show. Erin Gray was such a hot piece of ass. All she wore was form fitting jumpsuits while defending the galaxy along side Buck and his pals. I'm going to miss the old water cooler type discussions I get into here in the zoo. We started out talking about the Alaskan oil lines and ended up on Buck Rogers. Only in here will something like that occur.

Club Protection

Some guys put tigers or sharks on top of their golf clubs.
Some guys use flags or simple material to cover theirs.
But not me, not after this weekend.
You see my clubs are now protected by the greatest dog off all time.
My dog.
Toby, the half poodle, half sheepdog.

Don't you think he'll look great on top of this? I do.

8 Inches of "Male"?

R: I had 8 inches of mail this morning.
k o w: Say what?
R: I had 8 inches of mail this morning. On my desk.
k o w: 8 inches of male on your desk this morning huh, how was it.
R: Tough, it was heavy too.
k o w: What? It couldn't have been more than a pound or two.
R: About that I guess, I didn't weigh it.
k o w: How long did it take before you got the male done?
R: Only about half an hour.
k o w: Quite the stud then was he?
R: What?
k o w: The male on your desk this morning, all 8 inches of him.
R: Huh? Oh your so fucking dirty sometimes.
k o w: Wait you came to me just now and said you had 8 inches of mail/male on your desk. What did you expect?
R: I'm taking you to McDonald's for lunch now. It's your punishment.

Rubber Balls & Liqour

This one was funny as piss in 2nd grade.

Just say "Rubber Balls and Liquor" after each of the following statements.

1. What did you eat for breakfast this morning?

2. What did you eat for lunch today?

3. What did you have for dinner yesterday?

4. What did you do to Sister Rita last night?



Yeah it's lame but that joke was a hit in Sister Rita's room when I was seven.

Social Call?

k o w: Hey Suzy
Suzy: Oh hi!
Hey I need a file pulled.
Oh I thought this might be a social call.
Well work can be social.
With you leaving and all I thought you'd might want to get a drink sometime.
But I just needed a file pulled.
Let me get that for you right away.
Thanks.
And we have to have lunch or dinner before you leave.
Sure.

It's amazing what turning in your resignation turns up. I have no less than 12 lunch or dinner invitations for the next 3 weeks. If you want free meals and drinks quit your job today!