New Resolutions Old

I'm having a difficult time this year coming up with a decent resolution for the new year.
In years past I've given up soda, McDonalds, hiking in the Artic, and tsunami surfing but this year I want to go for something new.

So I present to you this years contestants for Resolution of the year 2005:

To stop performing magic in front of Catholic churches.
To enter a Fencing academy and work my to that elusive Olympic medal.
Quit skipping steps when running stairs, let's hit each one and feel it.
Learn how to roast a pig. A whole pig.
Learn to make ice cream.
And finally...
Learn to maintain an automatic transmission properly.


BTW...
The bar is currently serving Troegs Mad Elf Ale by the fistful. Lovely stuff.

While waiting for WoW...

So I'm sitting here waiting for this patch from hell to finally DL. It got me thinking about things in the world so tonight I share.

1.) It wasn't the butler who did it but the taxman!
2.) You humans have a long way to go.
3.) Suzuki makes a pretty decent automobile but will never be seen as more than a great bike company here in the States thanks to the country's auto press. Fuckers
4.) Spinning on your head does not make your PC go faster.
5.) Neither does throwing your shoe at it.
6.) The # 7 sucks
7.) Fuck you 6
8.) Your both pathetic.
9.) Thats an awful lot of paper in the stockroom at work but not enough trees on the campus.
10.) I'm probably writing this to a handful of people. Tell your friends.
11.) Made Taco Pizza tonight. Spicy? Yes, Making it again? Nope.
12.) Duran Duran's greatest hits album rocks.
13.) So does Bloodhound Gang's "One Fierce Beercoaster"
14.) Is a great number to play hockey in.
15.) Tits and ass are great but they won't be around forever. Brains and a soul will.
16.) Usually by this point my hands start cramping from typing.
17.) And people have long since reading this dribble.
18.) Free hot sex porn
19.) Readership quintuples instantly.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Catspit goes dark so we go light

catspit.net has an exciting new look so I decided to change templates myself. Mine didn't require much more than a couple of mouse clicks so I like the ease of it.

Some past posts are rather unreadable now, tough shit. If you wanna read them then copy and paste them into Word and change the color font yourself. We're going to stick with white because I love my eyes and I'd like to keep em for the long run.

Christmas shopping on QVC rocks. I can shop from home and pay $3 for shipping without going out my front (back) door. I can even do it in my underwear which especially grand when the hostess on the show looks good.

Today's beer: Perkuno's Hammer by Heavyweight Brewing. An Imperial Porter that will keep you warm throughout the winter.

By the way I need someone to talk me out of buying a Honda Element. It's functional and if you know me then you know that I love functionality.

British Women Rock!

Allow me to make a list of some recent women that have been cavorting around in my thoughts.

They are all from the UK. A place I'm about to move to simply because of these fine examples of genetics.

Google them:
Jennifer Ellison (seriously she's so hot it can't be right)
Emma Bunton (when did she get hot?>)
and I know I know ...
Charlotte Church
Yes she has grown up into quite the young lady. The girl with the voice of an angel (yeah I watch PBS!) has simply blossomed. It's amazing what money can do to someone who was once subpar in my book.
&
the female cast members of Coupling.

Kegger and Brewtiful

A boy and his bear. The story of Kegger and Brewtiful takes place in the wonderful World of Warcraft now available for the PC and Mac.

The 2 rabblerousers can currently be found running around the frost laden slopes of Dun Morough delivering beer, cooking freshly killed boar meat, or fending of the occasional Leper Gnome.

Join their adventure as the quest for level 60 is on!

Discipline, Distraction, and a New Direction.

The weight has fluctuated wildly over the past 2 months. The end of September I sat at 180 nicely. Feeling good I worked out as if I had vinegar coursing through my veins. It was great.

Now I don't. Maybe it is school, maybe it's Halo 2, maybe it was because of my recent "I just don't give a fuck" attitude that put me there. But this shit has to change. I recently read an entry over at catspit.net on spinning. I think this is what I need. Weights and lifting are all well and nice but cardio is whats going to keep me going for the long run. I watch Jack Lalaine and I'm in awe of what he's been able to accomplish in his 93 years with his body. The guy is amazing. While he doesn't talk about spinning I think he'd say it's a good thing.

I need to get off my ass. I'm still running the stairs granted but I need more. I need something thats going to beat me into wanting more. I need something where I can look over at somebody and just know they're giving it all they got too. Something to put all the distraction in the world off to the side and focus on the workout.

Spinning... I'm thinking about it.
Is it too late to ask for a bike for Christmas?

Things that don't work.

The following list doesn't work either but your going to read it anyway.

"Lemon Scented" anything
My attempts at winning against females and their kin in Halo 2.
Senko Worms
Paris Hilton
that lazy fuck down the street out on work comp, fucker!
Sweet Potatoe Pie
Daewoo cars
Volkswagon
the urge not to masturbate
Male Lions
Vioxx
The Simpsons (yes I said it)
Sitting around

PLease feel free to add to the list anything you feel may not work.

Early Christmas Want List

I want friends overseas to come back healthy.

I want the friends that have already made it back not to go back over.

I want a car that can run on water therefore having no reason for us to have friends overseas right now.

List to be continued...

Beef, it's good for your fart

Ever eat a burger that tasted really good. Sure we all have. How about eating a burger that tasted really good and a half hour later you fart. doesn't smell like roses now does it. Thats beef your farting there. I don't know about you but I've never met a cow that smelled like roses. This entry is brought to you by the Corporation for Public Beef Flatulation Awareness. We strive to make everyday a beef flatulance free day. Choose your beef wisely.

Slonp!

I've decided to come up with a new word. Slonp just popped in my head while I was drinking some tea in the breakroom here. They were talking about shorehouses and what types and colors of paint they should use to make their homes more attractive. One of them actually stated she was going to paint her house pink. "I like that idea, me too!" stated the other one. Now the first one was clearly perturbed by this development and retorted "maybe I'll paint the window frames in purple" hoping that the other one gasp in horror and disagree. Well she didn't. They both dug the ideas of pink shore homes with purple window frames.


Thank goodness this tea is so damn good. Otherwise I might have thrown it at the 2 harpies.

Woo Fwuckhead

I just want to leave a big "FUCK YOU" to the guy who nearly smashed into my truck last night.
I bit my tongue while swerving to miss you cocksucker. So now when I talk I sound like a smacked ass in the morning.

Here's an example:

Me: "Wood Mornwing Boff"
Boss: " What's the matter?"
Me: I bwit mwy tongue last night"
Boss: "Ouch"

Meanwhile theres just 3 days to Halo2 and one week to my qualifier for the WSOP.

I'm 5 and it's X-Mas Time

Halo 2 is a little over a week away and frankly I can't wait.

I haven't been this excited over something to play with since I was a kid at Christmas time.
I can remember the hours looking at the Sears Wish Book and seeing the Sega Genesis with it's vaunted 16 bit graphics and thinking I would sell my left nut to own one. I would read that page over and over again knowing that it would soon be there under my tree on December 25th.

This is the feeling I have now for Halo 2.
I can't describe it other than pure joyous anticipation. I actually be able to get a game in with some old chums I've missed along the way. People are calling out of work staying home just to play this one title online. I can't wait to order a pizza for lunch while playing Slayer for the 6th straight hour with friends.

Please hurry Santa. Petey has been good this year and my grades are really good. Santa I have to plug 50 rounds into someone online...quick Santa... hurry up.

Foul Mouthed

I was recently told in an email that my blog here is way to foul mouthed and that I should tone it down some.

Post a comment if your in agreement.

The Patriotist

Click above

An interesting read and one that I wanted to post before the election.

Flat Tire & the funky looking Carrot

Well I was running smooth down the bike path on Sunday when suddenly a tree root decided to jump in the path of me. Pop! went the tire and my glee ridden ride abruptly came to an end. See I ride aggresive. I don't ride a 24" 75 F'ing gear Mountain bike. Screw that. Where's the workout I ask you!
(I ride a bike sane people my age have long given up on, a Haro Tr 2.2. Go ahead and google it I'll wait.... oh yeah I have it in "clay" or whatever they call the tan color. It's bad ass.)

Anyway by now your saying why don't you grow up and act your age and quit flying through the air on a bike. You have a good arguement as does my girlfriend on the subject. But my thinking is that while you can do something you should do it. Far too many people my age are getting lazy. They come home from work and plop down in front of their TV with a Hungry Man Dinner and no drive to be active other than to push a button on the remote. LAZY!

Thats not my bag, not now nor ever will be. Far too many Americans these days are becoming diabetic not because of genes or the natural onset of the disease. No they're acquiring this by their lifestyles and diets. Wake up America. You can avoid this. Eat some real foods. Buy a Wok and some peanut oil and go to town on a nightly basis. It's easy. Why are Americans so frigging dependent.

Anyway there I was in the middle of the woods with a flat and no spare tube. I took Mitzy (yeah that's my bikes name, sure beats Cucumber Bob which I wanted to call her but couldn't bring myself to do) and hightailed it for the closest boulder I could find to have a snack. Out I pulled my trusty carrots full of vitamins and tasty goodness that everyone should eat them every day. This one carrot was bent. Almost at a 70 degree angle. I said outloud "Thats a funky looking carrot!" and proceeded to gobble it down. I picked up Mitzy and started walking back up the trail. Passing along the way 2 people both weighing over 200 pounds easily walking along with their 24" Mountain Bikes while catching a cigarette. Welcome to the New American Workout.

Dans la lune

Je suis fatigué. Presque passant dehors. Ainsi j'ai choisi de dactylographier ce message en français. Ils font le bon pain.

Linking to this site

To all of you who are linking to me now I want to say A.) Thank you, and B.) As soon as I figure out how to do it I'll link to you all as well.

Henry Kabozolich III

Fuck Math

Fuck you Math. Fuck you Algebra. A big Fuck you to the cocksucker who thought up Calculus as well.

I don't get it. I know I need to learn you all in order to hang a degree above my desk but let's get serious here. I'm not going into a supermarket and trying to figure out the following:

A= Pepperoni
B= Monterrey Jack Cheese

168.809 - 456789(A- 234 lbs) = B (agoogle x your mother) / 74.68901

NO!

I go in like this:

"Pepperoni and Cheese sounds pretty fucking tasty for todays game! I wonder where they keep the Super Pretzels. All this adds up to $8. I have a $10 bill! This means I'm getting back $2! Sweet.

So Fuck you algebra and calculus and trigonometry because I just made you all completely irrelevant to me in my daily life.

The drive to work

While driving through North Philly on my way to work today I stopped at a red light behind what looked to be an early 80's Datsun light truck. It was painted a metallic Olive green with rust colored trim wrapping around the vehicle. The rims on the truck were close to 18"and all chromed out. Really quite the fetching vehicle.

But what really caught my eye was the graphic on the back window.
"Peeps to my Old Head, may you forever puff the blunt. Joe J. 1978-2004"

How touching! I only wish I had a camera.

Monkey Butlers

I you found this place thanks to that post over on gt.com you just won a prize. And frankly way too much time on your hands to go out and search for Monkey Butlers.

I'll buy the first three people who reply to this a beer whenever I see them in "real" life.

Fuck I was going to buy it anyway but now I have a reason.


Oh yeah, Kingdom Under Fire fucking rules. Just beware my balloons. They're nastier than an ex-wife with a dull knife on a Wednesday evening who comes in to ruin your viewing of that piece of shit Ken Jennings and his never ending dominance of Jeopardy.

Now thats a fucking blog entry if I 've ever read one.

Which I haven't.

Fantasy #4

The scent of the night before intermixed with that of freshly brewed tea, newspaper ink and the smell of the ocean as it permeates the psyche in ways you never even imagined it could. Nothing on under the covers, everything left on the floor. I wish we lived in Cape May just for those late Sunday Mornings.

Hardcore Fishing

I used to think my father was an avid fisherman. He goes out just about every weekend to wet a line and generally gets good results. About 3 weeks ago he called me up and asked me if I wanted to join a fishing club with him. How can I say no to my dad when it comes to anything fishing so we both went up that night and joined. We figured we could learn a couple of new spots to fish through the club since we both already were great anglers.

Boy were we ever wrong.

This past weekend my father and I participated in our first real fishing tournament. We showed up to the thing with our canoe only to be shocked to see what we were up against. Other competitors showed up in boats equipped with 3 motors and enough electronic equipment to run a small military operation. Hell if Nessy was in this lake she would be fucked and would have to get out of the water and walk to the next "Loch".

So we paddled the canoe past all these hardcore, "fishing fucking rocks" guys with their fancy boats and started fishing. Long story short by the end of the day we had 3 fish only one of which counted. I finished dead last, my dad just above me on account that he caught a bigger fish than me.

Maybe we're not hardcore enough yet. Maybe we need a bigger boat. Personally I could give 2 shits as I had a blast just hanging out with my pop on the lake for 7 hours and not catching a damn thing.

Thanks Pop.

The beauty of online people...

I've met some quality people thanks to Xbox Live and now gamertag.com but something happened courtesy of my involvement at ratebeer.com that made me jump for joy.

I organized a beer tasting in July on the site there and had a ton of people show up for it. Hosted lovingly at the General Layfayette Inn near Philadelphia people brought beers form the world over to share with one another. Nothing but strangers who fast became friends over a great beer or 30. A great success and one I hope to duplicate at least twice a year from now on.

But what happened to me on 9/20/04 was astounding. I received in the mail that day 2 bottles of beer from Belgium from a RB user who couldn't make it to the tasting yet wanted to share some of the greatest brew ever made with me, Westy 8 and Westy 12. She sent me the bottles as a complete surprise and for that she deserves a big public THANK YOU Probiere!

The bottles are lovely. I can't wait to try what are 2 of the highest rated beers in the world.

Classes at night....

Are exhausting me. Work all day, work all night and no time to read, game, or write anything worth a shit makes Pete uncrazy in a crazy way.

The wonder of Fable

I never thought I would see the day but my gf couldn't bring herself to turn away from the screen while I played a game last night. She's not the type to do this as games really don't appeal that much to her if their not called Tetris. But she was enthralled. She said it was a neat idea for a game to let your forge your own path and couldn't get over the fact that I had women and men both falling in love with my character.

Maybe it's the purple skirt I wearing with the mystical way it shows off my characters supremely svelt ass. I think I'm going to don a complete dress and smash people with a big fucking hammer I bought last night for the rest of the game. It's rediculous but it works.

I started out a complete prick on this game but eventually I found myself really wanting not to kill people and to actually love them. Thats right love them. I want to now show how much I love every character in the game by sleeping with them all. Friends who are playing this game have gone the routes of evil murderer or the hand of god saint.
Me? Well I'm going to be a bi-sexual slut! Bring on the Earth Ogres!

Do not disturb...

I will be playing Fable from now until the shit hits the fan. Call me only at work as I won't be on this torrid plane of existence after today on weeknights between 8-11pm.

Thank you.

Pumpkin and the Eagles

Yes the Birds won their first game. T'was a wonderful afternoon ending with that chump Eli Manning getting flattened by 3 defensive players.

The best thing about the game was the pumpkin ale I was enjoying during the game. Buffalo Bill's Brewing in Northern California put theirs out a little early this year and it's simply wonderful. Nutmeg, cinnamon, and all spice all make their way into the aroma as well as the tase and none over power the others. Fall is the best time of the year for beer I feel and it got quite the debut this weekend from me.

Pick up some if you have the chance.

Malaise

I once again fell asleep out back in the hammock that isin the shade. Tremendously comfy and always available the hammock is a must own for yard owner.

In other news I am still in a bad way over the poker loss on Sunday evening. Struck down when I went all in with nothing but a King in my hand the flop came out and you picked up 3 queens. On the river came a King, but he came too late. So long went my title of chip leader as well as my sanity as I've thought and rethought that entire sequence of moves over and over again in my skull and upon further review I'm a fucking idiot for doing it.

Pool time

There is nothing quite like hopping into a pool after a day at work. Cool and refreshing the water just cleanses the soul of all the gunk it's built up after a day of wading through modern life. Quickly I start a whirl pool by running around the pool knowing full well that whatever is evil in there with me will be trapped in the middle awaiting to be picked out by me and my skimmer.

Dive on in.

Now working in Valhalla

The move is complete now. After 6 months of speculation I now work in Valhalla.

Yes I have been moved from my comfy corner office with the three widows to a cubicle with a view of someone elses window. This is all terribly depressing. It was then I realized that I am now surrounded by women. Yes it seems the department next store is all women. At last count on my floor here it was Men: 3, Women: 44. Normally this would be great but upon further review I am the youngest male by about 35 years and only have 2 women who are younger than me within paper airplane range. Who am I supposed to chat about last night's nip/tuck episode with? I tried the sports convo with the guys only to be greeted by blank stares which lead into the gent's talking about their kids soccer game.

OOF!

What happened? I was happy in my little corner in the back at the end of the hallway. Now I am thrust out into a semi-private area where I'm supposed to keep track of delinquent employees with their flaming mother walking through my new "space". Fuck this. At least I have Godzilla still on my desk. But I have to walk down 4 flights of stairs to refill my water bottle.

It could be worse, it could be raining.

Napolean Dynamite

Just go see the funniest, most refreshing movie to come down the pike in years.

Next post....

Spaghetti Sauce!

The Vegas

It was wonderful and over the next few updates I'll give you all (HA Ha!) a look into what was the greatest trip I've taken thus far in my short experience. Yeah it een beats Beaver Vally Campground.

Oh what do you know I can't upload pics to here. Heh! Yeah I just DL'd the software Blogsite here told me too and it still said I can't. When I figure this out I'll post a pic. Until then read a little site that I've absoulutely fallen in love with over the past year and a half.

Http://www.moufaisbad.com

Shit, I've been discovered!

Turns out people actually read these things and in turn write shit back to you in the form
of comments. Fuck!

Now I have to come up with some really witty stuff to keep them coming here.
How about a word of the day?

let's give it a whirl...

erythron: The total mass of circulating blood cells, their precursors, and the tissues that produce them.


Nothing really witty about erythron. But there is something to be said about modern Biology textbooks. I mean who the hell came up with the names in this book. I mean I'm sure it's no simple feat naming everything in the world that eats and shits but why couldn't they make it easy? Foot is a good word. So is hand, ear, nail, and knee. But chloroplast and phenotype are just totally absurd. I'm going to rename them Buda and Excrow.

6/10/04, Whats for lunch?

Thats what your asking aren't you? The sauce is already in the container and your without any white bread. "What the fuck" you scream outloud knowing full well you must rely now on that ungodly packaged Whole Wheat you picked up on a dare.A dare the three of you had discussed over cucumber sandwiches and strawberry niceness soda while dining at the Cape of Bulltail.


Salsa:
Dice the shit out of a tomatoe, pepper, onion (red), jalapeno.
Add spices like chili powder, garlic, basil, gunsmithing, cilantro and parsley.
Use a really sharp knife because your life is dull enough already, live on the edge.
Mix em, sit em', eat em' in about an hour with some fresh corn chips blue corn preferred.


I'd like to welcome you to what will be the most heinous, truthful, idiotic, profound little corner tavern of my mind. And I just steam cleaned all the stools.

Fuggo