After shooting a piss poor 101 yesterday at the local course I think all golf courses are designed by Satan himself. He comes to course designers in their dreams and inspires them to carve out of the land a horrid mess meant to discourage a man from ever even picking up his 3 wood again. Sand, hills, ponds, rabbits, and ducks all instruments of his evil war being played against those of us who take up the good fight with our irons and woods.
I sent 5 balls to a watery grave yesterday. One was knocked in by a duck. It sat on the bank of the pond in what appeared to be a pretty good lie but as I approached the mallard herd decided to waddle their tail feathers towards my ball. The faster I walked to try and rustle them away from it proved fruitless as one fowl decided he'd play World Cup with it and thus launched it into the shallows.
Hah! Satan is at work again. He's not allowing me to upload the pictures I have of my said ball in it's aquatic tomb. Which actually might be a blessing in disguise as I would be cited by PETA. For some reason there is a plethora of duck feathers floating through the air in the picture. Couldn't be from someone kicking a duck could it?
(author's note, no ducks were harmed in this round of golf.)
3 comments:
GOLF SUCKS! That's all I'm saying. I haven't had a good experience dating a golfer therefore I hate the game. I'm siding with the duck here...I've got her back!
Don't mind fame - she's way to bitter where golf is concerned... Now let's be honest here - you "scooted" a duck with your club didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?!?!?! ;)
Water has a magnetic quality that only attracts golf balls. Esp. ones hit by me.
It is true, it was my grad school thesis, trust me on this one.
sand also possesses this quality, but to a lesser extent
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