I am now on the high seas on a jet ski. Yes complete with high speed internet access and a built in PC, get over it. The ship I had been sailing on was attacked by Amazons. They approached our starboard side in banana boats. Literally they were rowing giant bananas while wearing the tiniest of bikinis and carrying spears. They jumped on our boat and started attacking us. We couldn't fight back as striking something so beautiful was just wrong so we started spraying them down with baby oil and milk chocolate. This made them slippery to grab. After an hour of fighting they took me below deck and forced me to make love to their leaders. It was terrible I felt like a piece of meat. Thankfully my libido kept me in the game and I was able to complete each time I mated with one of their leaders. One looked like Linda Carter in the 70's. The other looked like Linda Carter in the early part of this decade. I did what they forced me to do and then I was shown back up to the observation deck.
Surrounded by Amazon's in bikinis covered in baby oil and chocolate isn't as fun as it may sound. Especially since I had just spent 5 minutes down below making women of their leaders. They started to dance around me in some form of ritual. I noticed behind them a bunch of my crewmates were being thrown overboard. Then all of a sudden I heard a whir coming from behind me. As I turned the Amazons formed defensive positions. In the distance I could see approaching one of the most dreaded sites on the high seas. Robotic sea turtles fitted with helicopter rotors and machine guns. If I had a nickle for each time I evaded these things I'd have 15 cents right now. The Amazons were all set for the attack so I slipped away and made my way to the rear of the ship where we had stowed away the jet ski's I had won on the Price is Right.
As the turtles approached explosions began all around the Amazons. It was time for me to get out of there so I hopped on one of the jet ski's and took off for safety on the high seas. As I looked back the Amazons and robotic sea turtles were locked in mortal combat, then an explosion occured blowing the entire ship to smithereens. All that chocolate wasted.
So if your in the area I could use a pick up. I'm on the jet ski in the middle of the Carribean with the PC built into it.
Yup.
4 comments:
hehe...what a terrible story having to make love to all those women clad in bikinis.
I will pick you up on horseback since I now know that he can swim :)
Hang on... you serviced all the leaders... errr, down below in 5 minutes? Crikey, they must have been waiting a long time for a seeing to.
I'm ppoud of you, though, KOW, and hope you have a very good weekend in that surreal world of yours :-) Wish I could join you, actually, but it's sleepover time again in Chez WDKY.
I want those 5 minutes of my life back.
You have the best imagination ever!!! Bikinis, sex, chocolate, scary turtles, and a completely fitted jet-ski - you've got it all! Oh but I hope there's some sunscreen stowed away somewhere in the jetski :)
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