League Rules Addendum #5

5.) "If a player is found to be shouting at a referee using foul, abusive language he will be given a 2 minute penalty along with a warning. If the player is found again to be using foul, abusive language directed at a referee he will be given a game misconduct resulting in a one game suspension and/or possible suspension from the league. "

Ladies and gentlemen let me explain.

I am currently participating in a hockey league in "East Bumblefuck, PA". It's a quiet town, sheep run through the streets, cows are in everyones back yard, and there's just 2 stop lights on Main St. It's a quaint little slice of Americana. The local government opened up a state of the art indoor sports facility this past June and people from all around have come to play there in all of it's wonder.

So here I am walking in last night when one of the hockey league's workers hands me a piece of paper. "There's been a couple of changes to the rules here, you should read it." I take the paper and nearly crumble it up as I head into the lockeroom to gear up. As soon as I walk in my teammates are on me. "Did you see #5 on the sheet?"
"No" I responded not thinking much of it.
"Well you should read it, they put the rule in specifically for you, they're after you."

"Bullshit" I thought when I read what is now the opening paragraph of this post. The fuckers were putting into place a way to kick me out of the league for "loudly discussing" a call with a referee from the week before. Sure I was a little impressed that the league thought enough of me to put in a penalty just to call on me. Hey it's not my fault the fucking ref's suck. I mean how many times are you going to call me for roughing when all I'm doing is pushing the guy out of my way to the puck? That's hockey! You beat the other guy up when working in a corner. You check him off the puck when he's near you. Am I doing something wrong?

Did I mention I'm leading the league in penalty minutes this year?

So in closing I would just like to say I played last night's game like a good lil boy. No cursing at the refs, not yelling at the other team calling them a bunch of pussies or scumbags who aren't fit to carry my jock strap in their teeth. I played nicely and even agreed with all the ref's calls, even the one against me for roughing when I plowed the puck carrier over.

Following the end of the game last night the leagues Commissioner approached me in the locker room and thanked me for the game and for understanding and shook my hand.

I love small town America.