Wednesday, December 28, 2005

This planet of yours...

I like it. Ever since arriving here nearly 29 years ago I've grown accustomed to many of your habits like war, violence and greed. But one thing still confuses the hell out of me, snack foods. On other planets civilizations long ago gave up snack foods. They were found to be a meaningless endeavor and waste of energy to pick up and eat. Snack foods were entirely eliminated from most planets and those responsible for them were reassigned to sulphur mines. With the absense of snack foods societies flourished as citizens began to eat healthier. There was no longer a need for dieting or surgeries to shrink one's stomach thus saving billions of space credits and sending that money into research for better ways to conserve natural resources. So my message to you humans is simple, give up the snack foods or be prepared to spend your existance in this back water section of the galaxy.

10 comments:

Networkchic said...

Ha...I agree with Sirreene.

ladylongfellow said...

Well, thank god you didn't say give up masturbation, eh?

Danielle said...

you still drinking huh, straight thru to new Years, ha!

k o w said...

Lou Reed is the fucking man.

WDKY said...

Did someone say something about giving up masturbation?

kimmyk said...

What kind of snacks?

I draw the line at cheetos.

jamwall said...

if there's no ho-ho's and doritos on mars, why the fuck does everybody wanna go there?

i mean, at least we went to the moon because of all the cheese!!!

Caterpillar said...

This post made me smile! And the comments as well!

serenah said...

OMG...but....

Brandon Cackowski-Schnell said...

Mars...needs...Combos.