I'm celbrating it right now with 2 big fucking Whopper sandwiches from Burger King. They are the first burgers I've had from a fast food restaurant in close to 8 months, maybe more. So much for my girlie figure.These things are disgusting. First their fucking cold. Colder than a supposed "witches (thx LLF!) tit". Which makes me ask "Exactly how cold is a witches tit anyway?" If witches are humans then they should constantly be at a temp of 98.6 degrees. Are witches not human then? Do they take ice baths? Maybe they're just really cold, heartless people? Who knows but these burgers are cold.
These burgers taste like shit. Not that I know what shit tastes like but if I had to imagine what fecal matter would taste like it would probably be close to this thing. I just took my second bite and for the life of me I don't want a third. But I just dropped $3.95 on this experience and I'm not one to waste money. Bites 3 and 4 reveal a pickle like object. I'm not sure if it's actually a pickle but I'm hungry. You know I bet if I opened up this burger, pulled out a pickle, and threw it against the floor it would probably do one of three things:
1.) It would bounce like a super ball.
2.) It would grow legs and arms and try to attack me.
3.) It would lie there feeling dejected and cold, colder than a witches tit.
I'm throwing these things out. I hate throwing away money. I could go down stairs and give it to the bum that lives in our dumpster but that would be looked upon as a hate crime.
EDIT: I launched the burgers, dejected pickles and all, from 6 floors up. I can't believe what happened. They sprung wings and flew away after taking a shit on the McDonalds across the street.
7 comments:
Spelling error alert...on line 11! lol You just hate that don't ya?! God I hope you don't get sick....when are not used to all that fat and grease from fastfood...rut-roh!
We should be in Naw'lins instead, celebrating!
Shit good looking out. I proofread it twice too.
fat or no fat tuesday, el jacek wont touch a whopper with a 15 ft pole. - his own or otherwise
I haven't eaten BK in Yearrrrsss. There's a reason for that too.
That stuff is like so nasty.
I think BK is the worst fast food place out there. If I had to choose fast food it would be chic-fil-a. Whoppers...bleh! KOW, come down here, I will make you a home cooked meal..anything you want.
I only go to BK so I can wear the crown. Have you ever tried one of those things on...it makes you feel like royalty.
It's all about the Whataburger baby!
http://www.whataburger.com/
Post a Comment