Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Just imagine if you will...

...if olives suddenly mutated and became bloodthirsty creatures hell bent on destroying mankind. Headlines would read "Man Attacked and Pitted!" Italian markets would be closed and sealed off by the military. The lack of good Parmesan would drive the price of cheese up to levels never seen before. Soon Provolone would be worth more per pound than gold. The masses would go nuts over lasagna attacking one another. Pizza parlors would serve nothing more than tomato pies causing the price of tomatoes to rise making New Jersey the richest area in the world. People would take to their backyards to grow tomatoes hoping to cash in on the market. Presidents would declare war on Italy in order to procure more cheese. Suddenly nuclear missiles are flying, armegeddon over mutant olives. Absolute chaos.


People this is what happens when your stuck in traffic on your way into work and David Lee Roth is on your radio. You become delerious on your commute and start thinking up this kind of wacky shit.

10 comments:

Danielle said...

Wow, were you smoking something? lol.

j said...

it's all about staying sane. you've got to do what you've got to do!

WDKY said...

That wasn't wacky...I'd been worrying about it for quite a while.

k o w said...

See I knew I wasn't the only one!

Networkchic said...

David Lee Roth? He's still alive?

Caterpillar said...

You are so funny, KOW! I'm laughing out loud at this silliness!

Sky said...

Boy, how quickly we forget the countertop.

PG said...

cats and dogs, living in sin. Mass hysteria.

Yikes!!!!

I think you need to switch radio stations, k o w.
=)

Brandon Cackowski-Schnell said...

Think of the martinis. The horror!

Mister Hand said...

As much as I hate to associate myself with the Howard Stern "superfans," my mornings have SUCKED since he's been off the radio.

We don't get David Lee Roth here, but I downloaded his first show off of the internet out of morbid curiosity.

Awful. OMG.

However, on the West Coast, they're running Adam Carolla's new show and it's quite good. I downloaded it as well.